Thursday, January 23, 2014

Blurred Lines and the BC (Big Chop)

 Hello Everyone,
Finally decided to do a post after all the threats and heat I've been getting from family, friends and fans (?).  I have been mega busy with work and when I do get spare time all I do is rest and sleep (I work in Ikoyi and live after Ajah so go figure).  I know in some bloggers opinion that's not enough reason not to sneak in the odd post evry now and then and I agree totally with them, if it's your passion then you MUST make out time for it.  I promise to try harder this year.

 Due to my role at work I always have to appear smart and formal because my clients are the always-formal-to-work types and I'm expected to dress accordingly. I'm one of those people that believe that you can still get wok done in a pair of  levis and a polo shirt, dressing all formal for work hasn't really made me work any harder (btw I work very hard, at least my boss and clients say so. lol).  This past Wednesday I decided to wear a pair of jeans to a work, I wanted to see if anyone would notice, I was looking forward to being told off by my boss and wondering if my clients would decide not to have meetings with me because I wasn't 'appropriately dressed'.

Short version of first interaction with Boss A:

Bex: Good morning Sir (I walk into his office making a beeline for his desk and standing in front of it so he can really see me)

Boss A: Morning Bex* (*he calls me my government name of 'cos not Bex), have you called blah-blah for the 11 am. meeting today?

Bex:  Yes Sir, I'm doing a powerpoint presentation, just need to tweak some slides and add some more stuff in (I dramatically hitch up my belt and wipe at an imaginary speck of dust on my knees, he still doesn't notice)

Boss A: Ok good. Um is your neck piece supposed to look like a collar? rather dramatic don't you think? (he goes back to his morning go at Candy Crush.  My jaw proceeds to drop southwards at this stage, he didn't notice! how could he not? He noticed the neck piece didn't he?).

I made two more trips to his office and he didn't say a thing, same thing with all my colleagues. Weird.

I went  for my 11 am. meeting and it was the same thing, nobody said a word, matter of fact two people complimented me on my outfit and one chick kept staring at my neck piece the whole time. Did I give a good presentation? Yes. Did I get the account? I'm 80% sure. Did I get respect? YES!

I understand that the industry one works in and the organisational culture dictates how one is expected to dress but personally I think some rules should be relaxed.  I can't wait till I get that call from Google begging me to come work for them, I'll simply throw away every suit in my closet and go shopping for jeans, tops and sneakers (lol) but till then I guess I'm stuck with pants, skirts, button-down shirts and sensible shoes....bummer.

 For my see-if-I-can-get-away-with-it experiment I decided to dress androgynously, sometimes I like to play gender bender by wearing men pieces and adding a feminine twist to it, kinda like blurring the gender divide but in a safe and playful way.

 I paired skinny jeans in a dark wash with a navy blue striped shirt, a dark blue blazer and red hot heels. I decided to give my outfit a little edge by accessorising with a glittery beaded collar neck-piece.




 The Big Chop

Let's not pretend not to notice the big (shaved) elephant in the hair! Yes I cut it! I couldn't wait to transition, I wanted to see what I was gonna be working with so one morning, I grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting, was it scary? Did I hesitate and give a little sob before starting? No and No. It was exhilarating and liberating.  There was no sentiments, no "So long my dear fair locks" no fanfare, one morning I woke up with hair and by evening I was 'Hey Lupita'

Would I go back to 'creamy crack' once my hair grows to an appreciable length? Maybe. 

Would I start rooting for TeamNatural? Nope

I cut my relaxed hair because I wanted to re-grow my hair it as I've been suffering from hair loss since I moved back to Nigeria and because I could. Simple. No further explanation, I didn't feel more African or more confident after I hacked it all off, no konga drumroll or masquerade dance welcoming me back to my 'African roots' after the BC.

I don't think people should create groups and further deepen the divide that exists between us as women, what's with the whole light skinned vs. dark skinned and natural hair vs. relaxed hair thing war going on in the social media? If you want to go natural then by all means do so, it doesn't need to be a political statement, if you're not confident with relaxed hair then good luck trying to find confidence in going natural.  

 It's been fun since the BC though, my mum called me after my sis showed her pics of me sporting my new do and yelled I should have asked her first and gave a loud "hmmmmmm" (you know the hmmm that African mothers make when they disagree with something you've said or done or feel you should have consulted them on something) my dad was less dramatic and told me he didn't really care as I look beautiful either way (bless him). Reactions from people has been from wordlessly staring at me with open mouths to utterances like "why now" and "chei" and there's also the odd "welcome to team natural" from some folks.

My hair care is regime is simple, I co-wash once a week, do a protein deep conditioning every two weeks, I use a leave in conditioner every morning and seal in moisture with either coconut oil or castor oil (for growth).  The hair is a bit too short for twists (I think) so sometimes I wear wigs to give the hair a rest.  I massage castor oil to my edges every night as I suffer from severe hair loss in that area. I try to keep it simple as I don't do well with complicated routines.  I'm still trying to figure out what hair type I really am because the front is spongy and the back is softer and a bit curly. I'm a bit anxious as well...would I have a giant afro (like Foxy Cleopatra) or end up with a mop of curly hair (like curly Sue or Annie) this time next year?  What do you guys think?

 Thanks for reading my post and extended post.  Please don't forget to visit my food blog


Fashion Credit:

Blazer:  Zara

Shirt:  TM Lewin

Jeans:  Tommy Hilfiger

Shoes:  Zara

Watch:  DKNY

Neck-piece:  Tu

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Grey Matter

If I had to choose one blogger I'd love to meet in person that person would be Stella of J'adore-fashion. Not only is she super-stylish and gorgeous, she also seems to be a nice, friendly and totally approachable person. She did a post on grey being on trendy last week (see post HERE) and I like it, one thing that caught my eye was the jumper she had on, it made me remember my grey one I got from Rome. 

 I'm sure all my friends are tired of my yakking about what an AMAZING time I had in Rome and most have outrightly told me they are tired of looking at the pictures (I show everyone the pictures of the cats of the Largo di Torre Argentina cat sanctuary, btw I'm a huge cat lover!).  I got the jumper for just 10euros from Piazza Italia (I guess it's Italy's answer to New Look or Dorothy Perkins but way way better in terms of quality and style) and the quality is amazing!! It passed the washing machine test by not shrinking!

The past couple of mornings have been amazing as harmattan decided to show up this year so the nights and morning are cooler than normal but it tends to get a bit hot during the day, I woke up yesterday feeling a bit chilly so I wore a black sleeveless blouse that I absolutely adore (it has faux leather collar) and decided to get my grey on with the grey jumper and paired it with a black ankle skimming pair of trousers and red pumps. To give 'em something to remember me by, I accessorised with this totally gorgeous neck piece from Zara.  

Fashion Credit

Jumper:  Pizza Italia

Faux collar top (worn inside): Zara

Pants:  Zara

Shoes:  Zara

Bag:  Gucci

Neckpiece:  Zara

Watch:  DKNY

Sunday, October 20, 2013

When Berry, Bex and StyleFash became the Powerpuff Girls!!!!

To be honest I started blogging 'cos I was looking for a medium where I could creatively express myself.  I've always loved fashion so I thought to myself...why not? Why not blog about the one thing you love, a couple of months spent mulling over whether to blog or not, bexluvs2dress was born.  I'm a shy person and kinda reserved (HARD TO BELIEVE) and don't go out of my way to make friends so when I started making friends via my blog I didn't know how to pursue these friendships.  Enter Stylefash and Berry into my bloglife, Stylefash is the madam at the top of the fashion blog Stylefash (Please click link, thanks) and Berry is the madam patapata of the blog BerryDakara (Please click link, thanks). Stylefash was the first person to make a connection, she met Berry somewhere and these two went crazy (making people around look nervously at them and hurry away I'm sure) shouting and calling each other Stylefash and Berry as they didn't know each other's real name.  Well to cut a sweet story short three of us decided to meet up.  Aside frrom this blog, I have another blog BexCoox which is a food blog and I've not been shy letting the whole world know how much I love Indian food, luckily we all love Indian food so we decided to meet up at Spice Route (on Adeola Odeku Str, V.I. Lagos).

Like I said earlier, I kinda suck at meeting new people and I actually thought of calling to say I wasn't going to show up.  I kept wondering how they'd be, would Berry be snotty with a fake American accent? Would StyleFash be a talkative and bossy? I decided to satisfy my curiousity and go.  We agreed we would not exchange numbers or BB pins till we met so we kept communicating via emails.  I decided to dress as casual as I could, I wore a powder blue ankle skimming pants, a tee-shirt with an Ann Wintour look-alike on it and flat sandals.  I arrived first (not 'cos I'm like that but cos I had brunch with a friend earlier and finished earlier than I thought) and got us a table and waited...Stylefash arrived first and I squealed in delight and we hugged, sat down and ordered wine (that's when the fun began).  Shortly afterwards, Berry arrived resplendent in a lovely sequin top and gorgeous earrings, She was coming in from a wedding party where she had a glass of champagne so she was a bit buzzed and quite giggly (actually we were all giggly at this point).

I enjoyed myself thoroughly as we just bonded naturally, we found out we had friends in common and the conversation just flowed. we ordered Chicken Biryani, Seafood Curry and Chicken Vindaloo and more wine.  It was a lovely evening filled with laughs, ooohs, ahhhs and ehennnnns. At the end of the evening I learnt some fun things about my new friends top two being:

1.  Stylefash went to fashion school (I tripped)
2.  Berry has been natural since 2006

We are meeting in a couple of weeks for another blog sisters date...can't wait!  Below are some of the pics we took

Berry (R) StyleFash (L)

The Restaurant manager said this huge statue is made of papier marche

Outside Spice Route

'How come there's no chips on the menu? I want chips!!!'

What we ordered

I had mad crazy fun. StyleFash's Mr. C dubbed us the PowerPuff girls after he heard our names, StyleFash, Berry and Bex.  Very Hilarious.

Fashion Credit

Pants:  Next

T-Shirt:  Zara

Sandals:  Aldo

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Wide-Legged Pants

I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize for doing an almost-silent-post.  I've been uber busy these couple weeks! Busy doing what? Well busy getting materials for my new blog thats what!  Don't worry it's not another fashion blog (thankfully), it's blog!  Yes you read right, a food blog. Aside dressing up Bex likes to cook..and bake....and pore over complicated recipes.  The blog address is

I'd appreciate it if you head off to bexcoox right now and read, comment and follow.  So please skip over to bexcoox and tell me what you think.

For this post I'm wearing a blue wide legged pant with a peach coloured sleeveless blouce tucked in and my spiky pointy kitten heels.  I kinda like it when the hem of my pants nearly covers the heel of my shoes. I'm currently in love with this orangey citrusy red tote my friend Angie surprised me with, the burst of colour just does stuff to any outfit I choose to wear it with.  The gold studs on the side gives it this rock chic vibe and don't get me started on the tassels tied to one of the straps.......

Thanks for all the support and criticisms.

Fashion Credit

Pants:  Can't remember and too lazy to check 

Blouse:  River Island

Shoes:  Zara

Bag:  Kasha

Thursday, August 29, 2013

By their stripes you shall know them..

A certain someone told me that I hardly do patterns and prints, I have to admit I got on the defensive and told her that I do prints and loads of it at that. Having defended myself and kinda bullied the poor chick into believing I do prints I rushed home, put my laptop on, rushed to iPhotos and then it hit me.....hardly any print in seemed as if everything was in solids, colourful at times but solids.  I refused to accept it and ran to my wardrobe....same thing, mostly solids save for some paisley patterned tops, 4 stripey TM Lewin shirts, a jacket with a smattering of sequins, my striped jacket, some weird patterned skirts, quite a few number of clothing items in animal prints and some floral dresses. It hit me that I unconsciously stay away from stuff with patterns and prints, maybe it reflects my dislike for complication in real life.  I hate wahala.  I stay away from over-complicated and unpredictable people.  I don't like uncertainties and surprises (I kinda liked my last surprise birthday though, just didn't like the fact that I was fooled. lol).

Anyway to prove my friend wrong, I decided to wear stripes the very next day! I dug out this brown and black striped top from somewhere that I would not mention as it is beyond belief and paired it with black bottoms.  I wanted a relaxed but office-worthy look so I wore a pair of brown loafers,


Aldo leather loafers

Accessorize necklace and F21 ring

Lipsy wrap around belt

I hope that certain someone sees this post. lol


Fashion Credit

Top:  Dorothy Perkins

Trousers:  Zara

Belt:  Lipsy

Shoes:  Aldo